To those who wait
by goolcaptain
Summary: Giles, Woods and Spike are all dead and Buffy has slit her wrists in despair. But there's AlWAYS a way back Happy ending, you know me


Author; goolecap  
Summary; A sequel to ttrummer's story The Wooden Stake, PLEASE read it first so that this makes sense. No criticism of the original intended, I just thought it was rather bleak and deserved this.  
Spoilers/Timeline; Season 7  
Rating; T  
Disclaimer; All these characters belong exclusively to the producers and creators of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is purely for fun with no profit motive whatsoever.  
Distribution; sure, take what you want  
Feedback;   
Original story at http/ have asked why these old stories are now on the latest list. Truth is I'm updating them with links and that has this effect.

To Those Who Wait

It wasn't heaven.  
That was the first thing she thought. No light, no peace, no mom.  
No Spike.  
What was it Catholics called the place where they sent you if you committed suicide?  
"She's awake"  
It wasn't there either. She felt her wrists. No scars, not one. There were figures crowded around her.  
"Damn you Willow"  
Her eyes were still jet black, like onyx. It would take a long time for her to come down from this particular spell. Buffy couldn't have cared less.  
"I love you, Buffy" she replied.  
"To hell with you!"  
Willow lay down beside her resting her head on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy ignored her.  
Dawn pulled up her sleeve to reveal a large puncture mark. For a second Buffy thought she had been bitten and felt a pang of concern despite herself. Then she realised its' true significance, sensing the mirror image wound on her own arm.  
"Summers' blood, remember? Xander figured that the one thing we'd need around her someday was a transfusion kit"  
"Fuck you, you little brat!"  
Dawn nestled in beside her, resting her head on the opposite shoulder to Willow.  
"I love you Buffy"  
"Screw you, you bitch! You're not my sister, I don't HAVE a sister!"  
Dawn said nothing.  
Xander loomed over her. "Hey, Buff, this is the third time I've brought you back. Maybe I should get a job as a promoter for the Grateful Dead?"  
"Screw you, you bastard. I hate you, why the hell can't you let me die?"  
He climbed onto her, pinning her down with his weight. She tried to get up but their combined weight and her lack of leverage made it impossible. She figured she was still weak from the blood loss anyway. She lapsed back and looked despondently at the ceiling.  
"I love you," he said simply.  
Her sarcasm came back in a rush. "Gonna give me a yellow crayon?"  
"I love you"  
She started crying, great, gushing sobs. "Leave me alone, let me die! I just want it all to end! I can't do this anymore. Just leave me alone!"  
Dawn and Willow started to kiss the tears from her cheeks.  
"Spike's dead Buffy. You loved him and he died" Willow's tone was neutral, matter of fact.  
"You hated him! You all hated him, you dyke whore! Don't pretend you knew what it was like to love him!"  
"Giles is dead. We loved him like a father and now he's dead and he's going to be dead forever" Dawn didn't have Willow's self control, her voice began to break. "Just like mom..."  
"She wasn't you mother! You don't have a mother! You're nothing but a big pile of green energy!"  
Dawn didn't look her in the eye.  
"Wood raped you" Xander continued. "He raped you and you had to lie there and listen to his death agonies for hours"  
"I'll do the same to you, you bastard!"  
"We love you Buffy" they chorused in unison. She said nothing, lying backwards in the bed, silently fighting.  
Dawn stroked her hair. "You once told me that the hardest thing in the world was to live in it, remember?"  
"Well, I was wrong"  
"Mom came to me. She says she'll see us soon enough. She wants you to live"  
Buffy looked her straight in the eye. "You're lying"  
Dawn stared right back at her. "I KNOW you see her too" Her voice was gentle for words that carried such weight. Buffy bit her lip and turned away.   
Willow nuzzled her ear, nibbling on her earlobe. Her voice was scarcely a whisper. "You feel it's a betrayal of Spike and Giles to keep on living, it's not, it's what they would have wanted. You know that, you just won't admit it"  
"It's not for them. It's for me. I can't..." She trailed off.  
Xander's turn. "If you kill yourself now Woods will have won..."  
"Fresh out of self respect Xander!". It was difficult to concentrate now.  
"He wanted to control you, to destroy you. If you do this that's what he will have done. Giles and Spike will have lost and he'll be the winner" He shifted his weight on top if her, pinioning her comfortably into the bed, his weight holding her down, making it difficult to breathe. .  
Willow started kissing her tear stained cheeks again.  
"It's too much, isn't it? All the pain, all the suffering. You just want it to end. It's too much for one person to stand. Isn't it? When Warren killed Tara I didn't even stay with the body, I was only thinking of my pain, not my love. That's how you feel?"  
"Yes" She's admitted it, exhausted resignation in her voice. It was all Willow wanted to hear. She leaned over and kissed Buffy on the mouth, letting her tongue meet her's in unresisting contest. She smiled as she pulled out and kissed Xander.

"You're not alone, Buff" she continued with difficulty, "You're never alone. I love you"  
"I love you. Share your love not your pain" echoed Xander  
"I love you. Stay here with us" chorused Dawn.  
"I love you. I love you all" The words came more easily than she ever could have imagined.

It had been so easy to fool them. They really were idiots.  
Hardest part was getting access to the bathroom for some privacy in a house full of teenage girls. They'd stripped it of anything that she could use on herself, even nail scissors. But she had a little something in reserve.  
It was still there, hidden down the back of the bath, wrapped in a towel. The gun Giles had taken off the policeman when Ethan Rayne had sold the enchanted candy. She didn't know why she'd kept it but she was glad she had.  
How did you work this thing? Riley would know or Xander. She wished now she'd paid more attention to all those stupid action movies that they'd used to watch together.  
She fiddled with it for a few seconds keeping her hands well away from the trigger. She grabbed the top part and pulled it backwards just as she'd seen Bruce Willis do a thousand times. A bullet jumped out the top and fell to the floor. She thought for a moment she'd unloaded it but she could see there were plenty more bullets in there as it ran forwards again. What did Riley call it? Oh yeah, "lock and load". The safety catch was the easiest bit a white S for safe, switch it to a red F for fire.  
She put the barrel in her mouth. It tasted cold and oily, metallic. She pulled the trigger. It began to squeeze backwards with an alarming ease that panicked her slightly. She took it out and rested her forehead on it for a few seconds, summoning her last reserves of strength. She put the gun under her chin this time, her tiny hands slippery on the contoured butt. A bit more pressure and it would all end, her brains splattered over the bathroom ceiling in a manner no amount of Wiccan trickery could undo. She just couldn't get a proper grip. Maybe Jonathan had had more guts than she'd given him credit for.  
She put it down for a second and wiped her hands on the jumper. She took the gun awkwardly and reversed it, snuggling the barrel under her left breast, able to feel her heart thudding against it. Better this way, Dawn could have an open coffin at the funeral, wouldn't want to mess up her pretty face after all.  
She squeezed. And squeezed. And squeezed. Squeezing, just little m jus just a little more...  
The knock on the door was hardly unexpected.  
"Buffy, it's Kennedy. You've been in there for nearly an hour. Some of us need to go"  
Buffy laughed. She'd once bent a rifle barrel in her bare hands. Now she couldn't even pull this one little trigger in over an hour.  
"I'm sorry," she said to no one in particular.   
She walked past Kennedy without a word. They were sitting around the breakfast table when she walked up to Xander and handed him the gun. Wide-eyed he dumped the magazine and pumped the round from the chamber. There was a long and pained silence in the Summers' kitchen.   
Buffy looked outside. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. The world felt all the things she didn't want to feel, that she fought against feeling. It wouldn't let her wallow in her misery and it wouldn't let her end it all. Or she wouldn't let herself. Her peace would come in time she realised; she was not the one to choose when.  
"Let's all go for a walk" she suggested at last. "I think it's going to be a beautiful day"

The Turok-Han swarmed over the object lowered from the basement seal entrance, scrambling to try and reach the surface, fighting to prise the metal doorway to the world beyond open. But the seal was already closed, the humans having long made good their escape.  
The First appeared by the large metal cylinder in its' Buffy guise, curiously reading its' inscription which was being ignored by the illiterate Turok-Han. It consisted of a smiley face and a simple message scratched in chalk.  
"The boyz wuz here and SCREW YOU ALL!"  
Then came Buffy's signature. Then the rest of the Scoobies names.  
Then some X-kisses.  
Then a radiation symbol.  
"OH SHI...!" was all it managed to say.  
"Thanks for the loan Riley" Buffy commented from minimum safe distance as Sunnydale collapsed in on itself. The rest of the Scoobies and SIT's stood behind them, some taking pictures.  
"The UN's going to give us endless crap over this" opinioned Grhame observing through binoculars. Riley shrugged.  
"We can always sell it as a terrorist attack"

"They bought the earthquake story" Riley announced putting his mobile phone away, "Useful to know if we ever want to resume covert underground nuclear tests"  
Buffy looked at him wryly.  
"I just became scary government guy again, didn't I?" he realised.  
She took his arm and walked him outside where Sam, Graham and the rest of the gang were watching the former SIT's try out their new Slayer powers.  
"Think it's too late to try for the Olympics?" Vi asked, cartwheeling by.  
"Girls! Your identities must remain secret" Anya cautioned as Faith smiled.  
"We'll I'll be going then" Ethan Rayne suggested turning to leave.  
Xander caught him by the shoulder "We're going to need a little help rebuilding the Watcher's Council!"  
Ethan sighed and looked skyward "Ripper old mate, whatever did you get me into?"  
"Check this out!" Amanda exclaimed running up to them and bending an iron railing with her bare hands.  
"I think I'm in love" Graham announced dreamily.

"Harmony, what were you thinking?" Wes thundered snatching the scroll of Aberjai from her as a naked Spike emerged from the box.  
"Oh my!" Fred commented taking in Spike's nudity.  
"You sod!" Spike roared launching himself at Angel and passsing straight through. "Oh bugger!" he commented staring at his insubstantial hand.  
"Blondie bear?" Harmony asked, worried.  
"I think you may have messed up the spell" Wes observed.  
"Big suprise" Angel remarked.


End file.
